Too Late
by buffyaddict123
Summary: Angela realizes that she just might have feelings for Rayanne. Please R&R!


My hand tingled when she placed hers in mine. She meant it in a friendly way, because friends hold hands all the time, right? Angela's red hair was sparkling, almost as much as her green eyes.

"Rayanne, what's wrong?" She looked at me awkwardly and pulled a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Huh?" I realized that I had been staring at her for a while now. My eyes moved from hers to the ground in a matter of seconds, I couldn't let her know about my feelings for her, she's practically in love with that jerk, Jordan, and it would be too awkward, I almost always have courage but she was a weak spot. Not to mention, if she rejected me, well, that would just be too much to handle, I've only been sober for a couple of weeks now, and I know that it wouldn't take much to push me over the edge. "Oh it's nothing, I was just… Thinking…."

"About what?" She asked.

She looked at me intensely, expecting an answer. As if she really wanted to know. What could I tell her? Well… I am a great liar. "Oh there's just this guy I've been thinking about, it's nothing really."

She sat down with her legs crossed in the field we had found next to her house. My hand felt cold now that she had dropped it, but I still couldn't help noticing how beautiful she looked. "Well I was just thinking about something too, but it wasn't a man that I was thinking of…" She smiled at me flirtatiously, making my hopes fly higher than I knew they should. She grabbed my hands and pulled me towards her, causing me to shake all over. Our arms were spread hands enclosed around each others, our foreheads resting on one another's. My body was driving me crazy with desire for her which I almost thought would be fulfilled. This is it, we will finally be together, I knew it in my bones every cell in my body was screaming for it.

She looked into my eyes sexily and let out a small growl, followed by a loud laugh. She was joking. Of course. Silly me. I forced out a small laugh as she let go of my hands and I rolled onto the wet grass next to her. "Wow. I almost thought you were serious!"

"Haha, well, I am a pretty good actress. Don't worry; I love you, but not like that." She playfully punched me in the arm and smiled that beautiful smile of hers. "Besides, my heart belongs to someone else, someone by the name of Jordan." She looked up at the sky dreamily and grabbed her heart while falling back into the tall soft grass behind her. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply. "This is perfect; the only thing that could make it better is Jordan."

Her words stung, I knew that they shouldn't and they obviously hadn't been to hurt me, but I couldn't help but feel horrible. I wiped my eye on my sweater sleeve and stood up, "I'm, uh, gonna go now… See you on Monday."

She must have heard the tears in my voice because as I turned my back to her, she said softy, "Rayanne? Are, are you okay?"

I spun around and waved a hand at her, "I'm fine, don't worry about me." My eyes stayed directly on the ground as I walked to my bus stop. I watched as my boots crushed the grass under me and wondered why the world is so cruel, I wondered why she didn't love me like that.

As soon as I got home I dropped my keys on the counter and headed towards the fridge. I pushed aside random leftovers, milk, butter, where's the booze? "Shit!" I thought that once I had a drink -or two- I would feel better, but my dumb ass mom is either hiding it from me or never went to the grocery store. All the sadness pent up inside of me suddenly turned into rage as I ran my hand through the fridge, knocking everything to the floor. I let out a yell as I pushed everything on the counter to the floor, letting my anger turn to destruction. There was no way now, no way I would every feel happy again, not when my one true love had someone else. I knew what I had to do.

I pulled a sharp knife from the cabinet next to my. I held it to my wrist and let it slip into me. Blood dripped more and more as I pushed the blade in, again and again, harder and harder. My head started to feel light and all the strength started to leave my body. My knees gave way and hit the tiled floor. The knife slipped from my hand and made a loud clattering noise. Then I just let go, I let my whole body go limp and just waited, waited to be gone, waited to not feel the pain anymore. Slowly, but surely it did, and the pool of blood, tears, and food around me quickly became a black emptiness.

I sat in the cold wet grass thinking about what had happened only a few moments before. I hadn't said anything, or at least I didn't think I had, but Rayanne had freaked out and left with out telling me why. But I mean that just seems so pointless. Why would you just run off with telling that person what was wrong? Nothing's going to change if you don't make it.

Maybe I should go check up on her, she's been sober for a couple weeks now and I don't want her to go back to her old ways. I pulled myself off the ground and walked to the bus stop to Rayanne's house.

While on the bus I tried to figure out what had gone wrong. We had always told each other everything, but lately she had been acting weird. I always seem catch her looking at me in a longing way, looking at me the way I always look at Jordan. But, sometimes, I like to look at her that way. I don't know, I've never been into a girl before, but there's a first for everything right? Maybe I like, like-like her. The though of kissing her definitely did not bother me, in fact quite the opposite. Maybe I should tell her. Or not. I let my eyes drift shut as I rode to my possible future loves house.

I walked up slowly, step by step, to her apartment, thinking about what to say to her. Maybe I should tell her I love her. But do I? Does she love me back? Too many questions, I decided to make my mind up when I saw her.

I knocked on the door of her apartment and proceeded to try and open the door when no one answered. The door was locked. Thoughts went through my head, what if she was, like, in trouble? I searched for a spear key and found one under the door matt. I unlocked the door and ran into the silent apartment. "Rayanne?"

Something smelled horrible. I walked around to the kitchen to see where it was coming from, when I saw the most horrifying thing I had ever seen in my life. I stumbled back and vomited from the sight of the girl who was not only my best friend but maybe even more lying in a pool of blood and spilled food. I put my hand to the wall to keep myself up and slowly made my way to the phone on the wall, quickly dialing 911.

Within minutes people had filled the small apartment. They couldn't bring her back they said. She was gone they said. I stood there while her mother cried into my shoulder. I stood there and faced my best friends death. I stood there and witnessed a tragedy- a tragedy I could have stopped.


End file.
